![]() No one can do this for you, however, that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Have you ever thought about the fact that the longest relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself? Coming home to yourself takes time – it’s a lifelong journey. To have compassion and forgiveness for self. The good news is we can learn how to stop abandoning ourselves and start showing up for ourselves! The road of recovery empowers us to love ourselves and trust ourselves again– – or maybe truly for the first time ever. We may have learned these behaviors initially to cope with trauma or unhealthy happenings in our lives. ![]() Failure to set healthy boundaries and allowing others to take advantage. Not trusting our own instincts or asking for what we need. Ignoring the body, which never lies to us, and neglecting self-care on any level. Here’s some ways it happens: not valuing oneself diminishing or discounting feelings and hiding parts of self like beliefs, ideas, and feelings to fit in or please others. One of the most surprising things I learned in therapy was learning much of this stemmed from my own self abandonment! I was detached from myself and had to discover what that meant. Nonetheless, I had to face I had abandoned others I loved deeply. The way in which I abandoned others was in a totally different way than it had been done to me as it can be subtle. How does that happen? I desired to stop dysfunctional patterns, not perpetuate them! It shook me when I was confronted with what I had done. It was unintentional because I didn’t want to abandon another after having been myself. I had some deep abandonment in my life, but didn’t know I had challenges related to it until later in life. Abandonment comes in all shapes and sizes, and often leaves trauma in the life of the one who experienced it. ![]() Maybe the abandonment was on a spiritual level. Maybe when a loved one died, a feeling of abandonment persisted. Maybe by a lover or a friend, a coworker or a parent. Many of us have been abandoned in one way or another.
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